103. DHRITARASHTRA :

FIFTEEN years passed under king
Yudhishthira's reign, when old
Dhritarashtra found himself utterly unable
any longer to bear the burden of grief.



Hurt by Bhima's occasional reproaches, he
found no heart to accept the courtesies and
comforts provided under king
Yudhishthira's orders. Unknown to the
Pandavas, he secretly fasted and
underwent hard penances.



Gandhari too observed manifests and
inflicted privation on her. And one day
Dhritarashtra sent for Dharmaputra and
spoke to him thus:
"Son, blessings on you. I have spent
fifteen happy years under your roof. You
have tended me most lovingly. I have
made gifts and offerings to ancestors and
fulfilled all my desires in that respect.



Bereaved Gandhari, laying aside her own
grief, has ministered to my physical wants
all these years. My cruel sons, who
committed unforgivable wrong to
Draupadi and deprived you of your lawful
inheritance, perished on account of their
sins. But they fought like brave soldiers
and died in the battlefield and have gone
to the happy regions reserved for the
brave. The time has come when with
Gandhari I must do what has to be done
for our next state. You know what the
sastras have lain down. I must now go to
the forest. These robes must be replaced
by bark and tattered old clothes, suitable
for the life of Vanaprastha. I desire to go
and live in the forest, praying for your
good. I want your permission for this. Let
me follow the practice of our fathers. As
king, you will share in the fruits of my
penance."



Yudhishthira received a shock when he
saw Dhritarashtra and heard him say this.
"I did not know," he said, "that you had
been fasting and sleeping on the bare
ground and mortifying your flesh in this
manner. My brothers too were unaware of
this. I was misled into believing you were
well looked after and happy. Father, you
have suffered grief, for which there can be
no solace. I see no good in kingdom or
pleasures. I am a sinner. Desire and
ambition deceived me into this. Let your
son Yuyutsu be king, or anyone else you
choose. Or if you will do so, you yourself
may take up the duties of king and look
after the people. I shall go to the forest.



Let me terminate this chapter of error. I
implore you to save me from further
obloquy and burning shame. I am not the
king. You are the king. You ask me for
permission to go. How then can I give or
refuse permission to you? Let me assure
you that my anger against Duryodhana is
a thing of the past, gone without a trace.



Fate willed it and engulfed us all in
confusion of mind. And events happened
which were not in our control. We are
your children, even like Duryodhana and
his brothers. Gandhari and Kunti is alike
mother to me and command equal regard
and filial affection from me, their child. If
you go away to the forest, I must go with
you and serve you there. If you retire to
the woods and leave me here, what joy
shall I have in kingship? I prostrate myself
before you and implore you to forgive the
errors we have been guilty of. Serving you
will give me true joy and peace of mind.
Give me that opportunity and privilege.
Do not desert me."



Dhritarashtra was deeply moved. But he
said: "Kunti's beloved son, my mind is
fixed on going to the forest and on
penance. I can find no peace otherwise
now. I have lived under your roof for
many years. You and all your people have
served me with unstinted devotion. You
must permit me now to fulfil my wish and
let me go."



Having thus spoken to Yudhishthira, who
stood with clasped hands and trembling
with agitation, Dhritarashtra turned to
Vidura and Kripacharya: "I beg of you to
comfort the king and make him grant my
prayer. My mind is fixed on the forest. I
am unable to speak any more. I am feeling
dry in my throat. Perhaps, it is due to age.
I have talked too much. I am tired."
Saying this, he leaned helplessly on
Gandhari and swooned.



Yudhishthira was unable to bear this
distress of the grand old man, who had
possessed the sinews of an elephant and
had had strength enough to crush the
metal figure of Bhima into powder.



How lean he had become now and
emaciated, with his bones showing
through his skin, piteously leaning
senseless on Gandhari like one destitute.
"Have I caused all this?" he reproached
himself. "Miserable and unworthy am I,
ignorant of dharma, devoid of
intelligence. A curse on my learning!"
He sprinkled water on Dhritarashtra's face
and caressingly stroked him with his soft
hands.



When the old man recovered, he tenderly
clasped the Pandava to his bosom and
muttered: "My dear boy, how sweet is
your touch! I am happy."



Then Vyasa entered. When he was
acquainted with what had happened, he
said to Yudhishthira:
"Do what Dhritarashtra, eldest of the
Kurus, desires. Let him go to the forest.



He is old. All his sons have gone before
him. It is not possible for him much
longer to bear his grief. Gandhari, whom
God has blessed with enlightenment, has
borne her sorrows with courage. Do not
stand in the way of their wishes. Let not
Dhritarashtra pine away and die here. Let
him go and live among the honeyladen
flowers of the forest and breathe their
fragrance, leaving the cares of the world
behind. The dharma of kings is to die in
battle or to spend their last days in
retirement in the forest. Dhritarashtra has
ruled the kingdom and performed yajnas.



When you were in the wilderness for
thirteen years, he enjoyed the wide earth
through his son and gave bounteous gifts.
You left him nothing to desire. The time
has come for him to do penance. Let him
go with your hearty consent, and without
anger in his heart."


Dharmaraja said: "So be it!"
Then Vyasa returned to his hermitage.


Next : 104. THE PASSING AWAY OF THE THREE